omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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