puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
