I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
