I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
