I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
