Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
