When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
