It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
