But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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