i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
pray to the hookup gods
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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