the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
oh god the rape fog is back!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
