My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
