dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
