Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
