It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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