I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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