Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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