i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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