lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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