yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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