So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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