I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
