I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
