at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
