can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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