Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
