I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
