After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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