question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
