am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
