we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
