i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
