so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
