Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
