It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
