he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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