Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
