If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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