so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
