oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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