I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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