very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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