my mouth tastes like poor choices
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
