ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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