what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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