Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
