apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
