he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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