I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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