I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
