Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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