so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
