Are we in a gay sports bar?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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