Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
